40 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Kids

Miss Snarky Pants

When I met my husband over eight years ago, we each had two cats – mine were female and his were male. We fell in love and, upon combining our households, became the feline version of the Brady Bunch – except I had slightly better hair than Carol Brady and our backyard wasn’t covered in astro turf. Like the Brady’s, our kitties bunked together, fought frequently over who got to use the clubhouse, and shared a single bathroom.

When we married five years later, we decided against breeding (kids, not cats) after weighing the pros and cons of Kids vs. Kitties. The Kitties won and here’s why:

1) Fur hides bruises better than makeup. (No, I don’t beat my cats. I find whisking makes them fluffier.)

2) Though socially unacceptable in the United States, it’s not illegal to kill and eat your felines if facing starvation. Do that with your…

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